hello

mostly-funnytwittertweets:

(via montypythonandtheholyblog)

thefriendlylover:

historyofrobots:

millennial-review:

Wake up babe, new cursed capitalist doublespeak euphemism just dropped

“The Job Juggle”…why do people have to juggle jobs? Could it be that *gasp!*

they aren’t being compensated or paid fairly for their time and work?

(via odin-n-out)

griffinmcelroyspisskink:

turing-tested:

my favorite thing is when you pick up an animal and you look them in the eyes and you can tell nothings going on behind them. you look at them and theres just elevator music. stupid animals really are like the fucking best, the lights are on but no one is home

that also happens when u pick me up and look into my eyes

(via may)

toastpotent:

doctors and all other medical specialists during check-ups: “hmmm well it seems like nothing is wrong with you, you say you are having pain? idk take some tylonel and sleep it off i guess, you will probably live”

dentists: “your teeth are yellow as shit and your gums are unhealthy, you only brush twice a day when you should be doing it 4 times an HOUR, WHY don’t you floss. i see darkness in your future and the darkness represents cavities, you’ve got diseases we haven’t even seen before, all your shit is fucked up my guy, even your jawline sucks and i don’t even test for that, absolutely pathetic. don’t show your face here again”

(via alexander)

pkmnash:

(via best-of-tumblr)

iguanamouth:

remembering that you inhabit a body and that your physical appearance is inevitably tied into how people perceive you

(via thebootydiaries)